The Darker Side of Twilight

Now before you read I have to preface this by saying I love the books, and I'm reading them again for the third time lol and probably would have gladly walked to my own annihilation if Edward were delivering it lol.

But I am curious to know if anyone has really looked at these books lol.



He confesses to her he IS the bad guy. (Bella honey, that was your tip off right there lol)

He tells her he has killed people. AND SHE DOESN'T CARE!! (that's kind of a deal breaker for me. It's bad enough these days that before I date a guy I have to ask if he has a prison record I need to know about.)

They deal in dirty paper and grand theft auto.

Edward is always condescending toward Bella, "lovingly" insulting her awareness, among other things.

He tells her she is his "own personal brand of heroin" (Now, I have already told my 13 yr old niece, if ANY guy says this to you RUN THE OTHER WAY!!) Clearly we are dealing with a totally dysfunctional person and a classic co-dependent relationship.

She frequently comes home from visiting him with injuries.

His family "sequesters" her for her own good. lol........we usually just call it kidnapping.

Rosalie's constant dislike and threatening behavior toward Bella. (Rosalie is a bitch anyway...but I'm guessing it just stems from her low self esteem and narcissistic behavior) lol.

Dumping her over a birthday incident that wasn't even her fault because your idiot mood altering brother can't keep himself in check.

Charlie can't be bothered with Bella's birthday....the game is on.

He takes back all his gifts to her. (had it been ME he left in the forest that day, I would have run home, boxed up all his shit and MAILED his crap back to him........after I cleaned out the cat box that day.)

No one listens to what Bella wants for herself and ignores her wishes.

He hates her friends. (every girl should have a pet)

He sneaks into her house repeatedly at night, in the beginning without anyone's knowledge, then without Charlies. (think about that, someone watching you sleep? Don't serial killers do that?) lol that's just fucking creepy.

Not to mention the B & E to get the truck key......

It really is all about him.....including the time Bella is coerced into going to Italy to save his wonderful life (after he dumped her without giving a flying fuck about her feelings whatsoever and not even BOTHERING to do any fact checking about whether she was still alive or not.) Isn't Edward the one who said "Alice's visions are subjective"?

Oh and she leaves a note for her dad without telling the truth and is gone for like 3 days without so much as a phone call? (I would have gotten my ASS kicked when I got home!)

His sisters, Alice and Rosalie dress Bella up like a tart for Pimp Edward, knowing clearly she does NOT dig on this. Not even the shoes.

He leaves Bella high and dry knowing there is another vampire out to destroy her. Nice. Whatta dick. ( Yea Eddie, like you didn't know Victoria would come after Bella when your family ripped James to pieces and burned him. You insensitive prick.)

He is always with her, watching her every move....he's even in all her classes. (I call that stalking, lol........or sociopathic........either one works, lol)

He hates Jacob for being the man that he ISN'T. Jacob actually cares about Bella....even if he is an immature dork.

Emily is permanently disfigured by Sam.....and stays......well at that point who else is gonna want her?

Quil "imprints"on a baby girl. Jacob "imprints"........on an egg, lol. (Well, the author is Mormon, and they DO like to marry 'em off young.)

He procrastinates......instead of going to Seattle and dealing with the situation, he allows the situation to come to town.....possibly endangering pretty much, everyone.

Edward doesn't want to risk having sex with Bella for fear he might hurt her. Hey! you turn of the century 108 yr old virgin, there is a new position out, it's called "woman on top" maybe you have heard of it? I'm sure Bella has.

You know what they say about men and powerfully fast sports cars.....one word COMPENSATION.

Because of Edward, Bella begins to have bouts of schizophrenia. (Cool.....it's always good to have a friend with you when you do stupid shit).

She is drugged so they don't have to deal with her........(in the hospital) and Jasper and all of his little mood altering voodoo lol

And the fact there are indications of a suicide pact lol. (since neither wants to live if the other dies).

Maybe we should look into this a little further lol.

On the bright side, at least they are married when Bella gets knocked up. So rare these days lol.