Twilight, New Moon amd MTV Movie Awards.

AND THE WINNERS ARE!!


Best Fight....Cam Gigandet and Robert Pattinson













Breakthrough Male Performance.... Robert Pattinson













Female Performance....Kristen Stewart

Best Kiss....Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson














Best Movie of the Year....Twilight

I am glad that Twilight won as much as it did, but I would have liked to have seen a complete shut out. And can you believe how beautiful Ashley Greene looked!?! Girl has definitely got it going on!

I can't really say I am digging this trailer at all. I was pretty disappointed when I first saw it.
But, since I would rather think positively, Jacob WAS hot, like I knew he would be.

Things I learned while Watching MTV Movie Awards

1. It's not all that funny.

2. Transformers 2 looks like an awesome movie.

3. Fat men in jocks should not be strung up in harnesses.

4. Eminem is still a wigger, a homophobe and has no sense of humor.

5. Robert Pattinson is kind of a dork, in a totally lovable, completely adorable sort of way.

6. Jim Carey looks like a serial killer.

7. Forrest Whittaker's "Dick in a Box" is something I NEVER want to see. But he CAN sing.

8. White girls should never rap.

9. Bruce Springsteen has had as much if not more cosmetic surgery than Mickey Rourke.

10. Miley Cyrus= .45 to the head.

11. I own the coolest camera because Ashton Kutcher aka Mr. Moore, has one.

12. The New Moon Trailer sux ass. I. am. Bummed.

13. Ben Stiller is kinda cute in a strange sort of I-don't-ever-want-to-tell-anyone sort of way.

14. I don't see the attraction of SIMS...1, 2 OR 3.

15. Paris Hilton is a DOUCHE. Seriously.

16. Angelina Jolie just fucking ROX!

17. K-Stew dropping her award-FUCKING AWESOME.

18. WHO the fuck are the Kinds of Leon?

19. I remember the first version of Land of the Lost. Sleestack rule.

20. Why is Heath Ledger still winning awards? He's dead.



The really funny thing about it is, tomorrow morning we will all have the same shit on our blogs lol.

Now, if you don't mind, I have a date with Phury ::smiles::

Distractions.

This morning when I woke up I felt so cheap. I have to admit it. I cheated on Edward. I know, I know, It was a lousy thing to do, but I couldn't help it. He was there, in the bookstore. Staring at me, with amethyst eyes that bored holes right through me. Like he was looking into my soul. I had never seen anyone like him. I walked by him several times and still he stared, like he wanted me to come to him. I have to admit he was frightening. He was huge, dressed in black leather and covered in tattoos. He was more than just dangerous and I knew it. But he was also intriguing and I was drawn to him in a way I never expected. Cautiously I went to him. I remember the last time this happened. I gently touched his sleeve. He stared at me but he made no move. I stood in front of him as though I was under a spell. I reached out again, touching his sleeve. This time I took him in my firm grasp and picked him up. He opened up to me quite easily. His name was Revhenge and he was one of them....The Black Dagger Brotherhood. He explained to me he was the seventh and while I could start with him I should go back to the beginning. And then he took me to HIM. Wrath. When I first saw him come in I was terrified.  "

He was 6'9", dressed in leather despite the heat. His long black hair falling from a widows peak to his shoulders...which were twice the size of any males. He worse wraparound sunglasses, shielding his eyes and he has the shadow of a beard. The sunglasses he wore carved his face out perfectly. He looked like a hit man."

 And I didn't care. 

 "It had been so long for him. He willed the lights in the room off. Then he used his mind to close the back door, usher the cat into the bathroom and slide home every lock in the apartment. He carefully balanced the cigarillo on the edge of the table next to him and let her wrists go. He hands grabbed his jacket, trying to push it back from his shoulder. He wrenched the thing off, and as it hit the floor with a thud, she laughed with satisfaction. His holster of daggers followed, but he kept that within reach of the futon........ He dropped a soft kiss to the healing bruise (on her lip) and then drew his tongue down her neck. The time when she thrust her breasts out, he slid his hand under her thin shirt and onto her smooth warm skin. Her belly was flat, and he spanned it with his hand, filling the space between her hip bones. Greedy to know the rest of her, he peeled her shirt off and tossed it aside. Her bra was pale in color, and he traced the edges of it with his fingertips before cupping the creamy swells with his hands. Her breasts filled his palms, her nipples tight buds under the soft satin. Wrath's controls snapped. He bared his fangs, let out a hiss, and bit through the bra's front closure....... .....he didn't have the patience to let her undress him. He lifted up and ripped the material off his body, popping buttons and sending them scattering across the floor. When he came back down, her breasts hit the wall of his chest and her body surged under his. .....Wrath felt something in his head pop as her scent reached him in a fresh wave....... .....He kissed her softest skin, drawing her core into his mouth, and she came over and over again for him until he couldn't fight his own need any longer. He pulled back, shrugged out of his pants and covered her with his body once more. She wrapped her legs around his hips and he kissed her as her heat burned his erection......." (excerpts and all credits from Dark Lover, JR Ward)

 So, I thought if Edward can have his distractions.......then I too can have mine. I spent all night with Wrath. I should also warn you.......He has brothers......Phury, Tohrment, Zsadist, Rhage, Vishous and of course Revhenge. Could I ask for better distractions? Probably not............why would I? ::smirking:: 

 And yes, I know my comments don't work. I don't know why. Working on fixing that.

The Vampires in my life, my real true loves.

::Wakes up and sees Edward Cullen standing in a shadowed corner of my room::

"That was the first night I dreamt of Edward Cullen."

And so what if it was Pocket Edward....it's still Edward. So there.

Ok, so that's bullshit but hey, it's my fantasy and I can dream if I want to. But it did get me started thinking about the vampires in my life. Never mind my errant obsession with vampires since I was 6. (BTW...if there are any IRL vamps out there.....I'm ova heeya ::points to self::. Being human is so boring....and there are so many other things I could be doing.)

One thing I will never understand.....vampires who think they are monsters and are all morose about it. You get to live history! For the love of blood get over it already. I would gladly choose being a vampire over being human any day. Truly top of the food chain material. To be able to witness history as it actually happens sounds pretty cool to me. Plus it would sum up a lot of historical questions.....because you'd actually be there!
With my luck though being a vampire would mean being one of those shitty 30 Days of Night vampires........bloody, messy and looking a little bit like a piranha. And what's with all the damn squealing? No not into that.

The ultimate in my "Bad Boy Syndrome" vampire fantasy.



Peter Steele, Type O Negative

Drugs, sex, and rock n roll. Has the kind of voice that makes ur panties fall off, if you're wearing any. 6'7" and studly as hell at the time. Even had a pictorial in Playgirl which I still have lol. Still love the band and listening to his music though he isn't aging well.

Last I heard he was living in his mothers basement and considering moving to Iceland.









Mick St. John, Moonlight. I loved this show. It wasn't very good, but MSJ was hot. A private investigator who was turned into a vampire on the night of his wedding by his bride Coraline. Mick is 90 years old,^[23] and unlike other vampires, he has standards and does not hunt women, children, or innocents. He doesn't bite anyone. Mick sleeps in a freezer, not a coffin. Garlic, holy water and crucifixes don't work on him. He can't turn into a bat. Daylight's not good but it won't cause him to burst into flames. A stake through the heart might be painful, but decapitation and consumption by fire are the best ways to kill him. He's 90 years old. Mick's heightened senses allow him to hear very well, smell the past and glimpse the future.

Dracula

Definitly a snappy dresser Love the blue shades. Aristocratic, Owns Bran Castle, which until 1/26/09 was for sale. It's now a Museum dedicated to.....Dracula of course.



Louis de Pointe du Lac




He's a bit mopey. He refuses to feed on humans. Retains his humanness Will probably kill you anyway.

Drake-Blade Trinity

Now I dunno bout you, but if that walked down my street, I would most likely and quite happily meet my death lol. He's old school. I believe he was 3k + years old. He'll kill ya. Won't think twice about it.




The Vampire Lestat de Lioncourt....The Stewart Townsend version



He's a bit moody. He's self absorbed. He's out of the closet. He's ridiculously musical. He kills for the fun and sport of it. Unbelievably regal and sexy. Smoldering eyes and definitely commands your attention. I'm sure there is more but this pic is distracting me lol.











William Compton, True Blood


I love this series. Now currently my second favorite vampire, at least for now, at least util season 2 begins, this is the tale of the Sookie Stackhouse books. "Bill" is 173.....and a true southern gentlemen. Come to think of it, it is possible that he and Jasper fought in the same war........At any rate, it comes with your female object of affections-who btw can read minds, all except Bill's, (Sookie), your male, vamp with a concious (Bill), and yes, even a shapeshifter, who actually does turn into a dog lol (Sam). Also, a sexy cast and a sexy show with a fair amount of nudity-specifically the awesome physique of Sookies brother, Jason. The music on this show is phenomenal, once again, the whole cast is sexy! He's a southern gentleman He has manners He will kill anyone who dares harm Sookie.

The Lost Boys

Are you kidding me? Pick one..........These are the vamps of my day.......and I love them still. Long haired gypsies Ride motorcycles Listen to metal Eat Chinese food Live in a sunken hotel due to earthquake on the coast of Cali, a couple of hours drive from me.



Emmett Cullen


Hehehe, hey Em, peekaboo!! Sexy as hell, obviously Only vampire to have mention of his insatiable sex life! (must be the diet of grizzlies) Doesn't mind at all being a vampire Always up for a good time And why is he holding a bag of eggs? Are ya trying to tell us something here Em? Nice dresser Athletic Drives a cool car Has a pretty cool family Compassionate Sparkles in the sun........now THAT I would have liked to have seen And of Course,

Edward Cullen

A gentleman
Educated......with several degrees
Has old world morals and values
Excellent taste in cars
Dresses very well
Not a peace with who he is
Well gladly eat food for you even if he has to hark it back up later
He's a searcher
Is apparently a sex god complete with electrical like tingling
Can't really make up his mind as to whether he is coming or going in a relationship
Very Hemingway-esque

And now a message from our sponsor.........

I got an emergency comment on my myspace this morning from a very good friend of mine to go to tmz.com because they had pix of THE EDWARD sans shirt for the clocktower scene that was being filmed. It just so happens I was on Pillow Biters, looking at the very same pix, but better, at the very same instant. (No, I'm not posting the pix here, not that anyone reads my shitty blog lol, but it is a severe *spoiler alert* and in case someone IS reading, I don't want to blow the most pivitol scene in the movie. If you must, go there and look for yourself, knowing YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Anyway, it had been a while since I had vistited PB and while scrolling down after almost dying of a heart attack at the shirtless Rob pix I ran across a poem that aptly describes the moment I saw those pix. To the Author Suzanne, full credit goes.....and thank you for describing something I couldn't quite put into words.

Dirty English Boy
By Suzanne

I see you in the movies
I see you on the Telly
I see you on my PC
and you turn me into jelly
You should be illegal, you rock me
You dirty English boy

When I see your bedroom eyes
I turn into a puddle
When I see your bedroom lips
Don't care about the stubble
You make me insane, you rock me
You dirty English boy

I want to be that cigarette
You hold between your lips
I want to be those worn jeans
That wrap around your hips
You set me on fire, you rock me
You dirty English boy

I don't understand this
I feel I'm on fire
You've created a monster
And I'm flaming with desire
I want you yesterday, you rock me
You dirty English boy

Your voice as smooth as velvet
It melts me into butter
But if I were to meet you
All I would do is stutter
You have me by the heartstrings, You rock me
You dirty English Boy

It reminded me of something I had swimming around in my own head for the last week or two and when I saw Suzanne's poem, it definitely inspired me to write mine down. I don't know how many of you have actually heard this:

"I don't care if it rains or freezes 'long as I got my plastic Jesus"

But it was the defining inspiration for my poem. Picture the scene: I'm sitting on the sofa watching Twilight and reading New Moon and I have the little limerick from above playing through my head.......no, I don't know why. It just was. When all of a sudden I glance over at little E, who is ever so faithfully guarding my cherry coke........and all of a sudden, out of nowhere, this pops into my head:

"I don't care if he's moody or sullen as long as I've got my plastic Cullen"

conceived, composed and written by Ms Lisa

I realize that it does not have quite the same panache as "Dirty English Boy"............

Eh bite me you Twi-wenches......how dare you interrupt my haughty literary genius, lol

A letter to the Twilight Widowers Wife

After reading the TW's blog this morning when I woke up, I was stunned, for his wife. Being forced into the twi-closet because you are afraid of what others might think. Believe me, gay people everywhere know EXACTLY how you feel! I just felt that she needed some support from us Twilighters.

Dear Twilight Widowers Wife,

I am so sorry to hear your dinner did not go well with your old friends. Clearly you have outgrown them and perhaps it's time to let the friendship fall by the wayside. True friends never make us feel ashamed of who we are or what we like. They support us in every way. Obviously for your "friends" (and I use the term loosely) to albeit unknowingly bash your beloved Edward tells me that they really do not know you at all.

I say, stand PROUD my fellow Twilighter!! Even Shakespeare was thought to be a fruitcake in his own time....it wasn't until the 19th century that his work was regarded with praise and revered as the work of a master. Be rested knowing that when all is said and done Stephanie Meyer and the Twilight Saga will be regarded as one of the greatest quadriliogies of our time. Over 20 million copies of Twilight have been sold in the United States alone. With and additional 5 million in other country sales. (It's probably harder to get Twilight outside the US because we believe in FREEDOM here to read what we choose).

Remember, "university" people like knowledge and facts. That is one thing you can share with them in the event they Twi-bash again. The greatest selling books of all time are the Bible, of up to 6 billion copies, interspersed with Dickens "A talke of two Cities" at 200 million and Tolkiens "Lord of the Rings" at 150 million copies. Tolstoy's "War and Peace" comes it at a mere 36 million (barely above Stephanie Meyers' Twilight) and that is considered one of the greatest books ever written! Oh, and don't forget to let your friends know, that over 40 million copies of the entire saga alone have been sold, beating out even the uppity Micheline Guide- so they can stick that in their hooka and smoke it.

And please remember my fellow Twilighter, that generally the only reason people belittle a thing is because they are afraid of it. Afraid of it's power over them. To belittle makes your friends feel powerful, when it is clearly a narrow minded judgment. Ask yourself, "how can one possibly have an opinion on something they know nothing about?" Or do they? ::raises eyebrow::

YOU HOLD YOUR HEAD HIGH! Do not be ashamed to be a Twilighter! There are after all LEGIONS of us out there. I wear my Bella Bracelet every day, proudly! I take my pocket Edward everywhere, and I use my Twilight carrying case as a purse! SO MISSY, YOU PUT ON YOUR TEAM EDWARD HOODIE AND HOLD YOUR HEAD UP HIGH! YOU ARE A TWILIGHTER! SAY IT WITH ME NOW, I A M A T W I L I G H T E R ! LOUDER!!
I A M A T W I L I G H T E R ! I A M A T W I L I G H T E R! L O U D E R!!!
I A M A T W I L I G H T E R!!!! YEA!!! NOW YOU GOT IT!! SCREAM IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS!!






::high fives:: Now run out and get your twilight tattoo and wear it proudly!!

Remember this, the true measure of a book is not what other people think of it. It's true measure comes from where it takes the reader, the feelings it inspires in the reader and the vision and inspiration it gives the reader. Even the Bible can be construed as crap if it doesn't inspire you.

And "since I'm going to hell, I may as well do it thoroughly" and TAKE SMs BOOKS WITH ME!

Love and Twilights always,

Ms Lisa


Oh, and on a sidenote there Widower, you missed a GRAND Edwardian opportunity to come to your wife's rescue and defense of her love of Twilight that night, that probably would have turned you into Edward (in her eyes) and gotten you laid for pretty much EVER! Just a thought. ::wink::

A simple Twank you will do

As I was laying in bed last night, suffering from the previous meal of Japanese food I had eaten earlier, I was thinking of all of my fellow bloggers pages to take my mind off the agony I was involuntarily taken over by......sesame chicken, sushi and tempura veggies with what appeared to be some kind of unidentifiable pickled vegetables..*moans*

So as I lay there (bucket nearby) with my first love (my blackberry) surfing your pages in between episodes of incoherency, violent eruptions and absolute blankness (I'm assuming I fell asleep at that point) something occurred to me.

I wanted to take a moment to thank all of my fellow Twi-bloggers. Not only for being there with me in my time of need lol, but for really doing a great job. I enjoy reading so many of your blogs! The humor, the Edward exploits, the families who think we have all gone TOTALLY off the reservation because of our devotion for Twilight. I am still very new at all of this blog stuff and so many of you have provided inspiration in so many ways. I admire everyones creativity and humor and all of everyones experiences.......and for giving me a place to go when my "normal friends" (who really don't seem all that normal since most have never even read the Twilight Saga, I mean really, what kind of trolls are you?) are fed up with my "Edward this and Bella that" lol.

Thank you everyone for your wonderful imaginations!! I enjoy each and every one of you!

The Japanese food though, yeah, not so much.




PS-this is NOT the food or the place that did me in lol.

Gay is NOT the issue here. Ignorance however......

Ok, I have to address this issue here because it has really been chapping my ass.

I'm going to preface this by letting everyone know I live in California, land of the fruits and nuts and damn proud of it. We have EVERYTHING here, which is why everyone wants to move here.

Ever since before Little Ashes came out, everyone was making a big damn deal over the man-love scene. What I want to know is........is that ALL you get out of this movie?

This is NOT a GAY movie. This movie is about the life and times of Salvador Dali, who was in his time, and still is, one of the most amazing artists in the world. If any of you have actually seen any of his work, you would actually know this. But all I keep hearing is about everyone's worried their beloved "Robward" has gone pile driving.

First of all, his name isn't "Edward". It's Robert Pattinson. He's an A C T O R, not a vampire. He gets paid to portray certain roles. The fact that RP took this roll in my opinion spells out what a talented, multi-faceted actor he really is. Not just an actor, but an artist. That says a great deal about him as a person if everyone can get past Twilight.

We watch women kissing and fondling each other in movies all the time and no one says anything about it. Since the film making industry is dominated by men it doesn't surprise me. But two men kissing? OH NOOOOOO. People start flipping out ..........like you can catch "gay" like the flu or something. (we all remember Brokeback Mountain).

And since I feel strongly about all of this I would also like to add this:
There are three boundaries love doesn't know. Age, sex, race. Love just is. And love takes you as you are. Unconditionally.

So, to all the ignorant gay and straight people out there: GET OVER YOURSELVES ALREADY WILL YA.





Because if THIS (above) is all you took from the movie, instead of this (below),





Then the problem is YOU.

Nuff said. I've made my peace.

K-STEWED?

Do my eyes deceive me or is this our dear sweet Bella tokin' it up on the pipe?

The Twilight Saga book 6.......after "Midnight Sun", there comes, "Morning Toke". A whole new white trash spin on Twilight. Edward, her vamp pimp, makes her whore herself out to her drug dealer, Jacob. Hilarity ensues.

In stores this winter.


HEY, K-STEWED, PASS THE KOUCHIE GIRL!
(photos from Nov. 2008)

The Men of Twilight

It's about 104 degrees out here in sunny Sacramento, and despite the heat outside, I thought a little "man-meat" might just take my mind off the heat outside. WRONG! I must have been INSANE.....I want to know.....who IS the hotter Cullen?


Our first contender.....Edward Cullen, aka Rob Pattinson.

Ok. Words don't really explain what we already know. He's hot. He went from 0-60 in a nano second. His smoulder makes you want to jump on his ass and tear him to shreds. He's British, he's musical, he's a smartass and he's funny.

Next we have Kellan Lutz, aka Emmett Cullen.



I only have two words.....CHOCOLATE SYRUP.

Jackson Rathbone aka Jasper Hale



Less obvious, but the sexy is there.....he doesn't flaunt it....then again, he doesn't have to.

Peter Facinelli aka Carlisle Cullen



I almost forgot about this movie. I saw it today on another blog and it's what got me started on this whole thing. Btw....nice ass Peter......and everything else too I might add.






My winner?



Kellan Lutz, hands down.....clothes off.......and a copy of the Kama Sutra baby.

(all photo creds go to their original sources)

The lazy girls guide to mushroom ravioli's

I've seen this on a few websites out there, and now I thought I would do my take on it.

The lazy girls guide to mushroom ravioli's or the "I just did hair for 12 hours without a break and I haven't pee'd all day and I'm too damn tired to cook" mushroom ravioli.

Hit the Walmarrrrr (that's Walmart for all of you who only speak English)

Go directly to the frozen food section.

Grab the Bertolli Frozen: Mushroom Ravioli In A Mushroom Cream Sauce Complete Pasta & Sauce, 19.4 oz

Put it in the cart.

Then go to where ever they keep the bagged salad. Grab one. My personal fave? Fresh Express Veggie Lovers Salad.



Put it in the cart.

Don't forget to stop somewhere for french bread.

Drive home really fast. I know you're hungry.

Walk in house, put bag down, take bra off immediately. And shoes.

Throw ravioli's in microwave. Press cook.

Run and go pee.

Open salad bag, pour in some ranch dressing, shake bag and eat.

When done Microwaving, open raviolis, dump in bowl (or not) and eat.

Oh, and watch Twilight, of course.

The Darker Side of Twilight

Now before you read I have to preface this by saying I love the books, and I'm reading them again for the third time lol and probably would have gladly walked to my own annihilation if Edward were delivering it lol.

But I am curious to know if anyone has really looked at these books lol.



He confesses to her he IS the bad guy. (Bella honey, that was your tip off right there lol)

He tells her he has killed people. AND SHE DOESN'T CARE!! (that's kind of a deal breaker for me. It's bad enough these days that before I date a guy I have to ask if he has a prison record I need to know about.)

They deal in dirty paper and grand theft auto.

Edward is always condescending toward Bella, "lovingly" insulting her awareness, among other things.

He tells her she is his "own personal brand of heroin" (Now, I have already told my 13 yr old niece, if ANY guy says this to you RUN THE OTHER WAY!!) Clearly we are dealing with a totally dysfunctional person and a classic co-dependent relationship.

She frequently comes home from visiting him with injuries.

His family "sequesters" her for her own good. lol........we usually just call it kidnapping.

Rosalie's constant dislike and threatening behavior toward Bella. (Rosalie is a bitch anyway...but I'm guessing it just stems from her low self esteem and narcissistic behavior) lol.

Dumping her over a birthday incident that wasn't even her fault because your idiot mood altering brother can't keep himself in check.

Charlie can't be bothered with Bella's birthday....the game is on.

He takes back all his gifts to her. (had it been ME he left in the forest that day, I would have run home, boxed up all his shit and MAILED his crap back to him........after I cleaned out the cat box that day.)

No one listens to what Bella wants for herself and ignores her wishes.

He hates her friends. (every girl should have a pet)

He sneaks into her house repeatedly at night, in the beginning without anyone's knowledge, then without Charlies. (think about that, someone watching you sleep? Don't serial killers do that?) lol that's just fucking creepy.

Not to mention the B & E to get the truck key......

It really is all about him.....including the time Bella is coerced into going to Italy to save his wonderful life (after he dumped her without giving a flying fuck about her feelings whatsoever and not even BOTHERING to do any fact checking about whether she was still alive or not.) Isn't Edward the one who said "Alice's visions are subjective"?

Oh and she leaves a note for her dad without telling the truth and is gone for like 3 days without so much as a phone call? (I would have gotten my ASS kicked when I got home!)

His sisters, Alice and Rosalie dress Bella up like a tart for Pimp Edward, knowing clearly she does NOT dig on this. Not even the shoes.

He leaves Bella high and dry knowing there is another vampire out to destroy her. Nice. Whatta dick. ( Yea Eddie, like you didn't know Victoria would come after Bella when your family ripped James to pieces and burned him. You insensitive prick.)

He is always with her, watching her every move....he's even in all her classes. (I call that stalking, lol........or sociopathic........either one works, lol)

He hates Jacob for being the man that he ISN'T. Jacob actually cares about Bella....even if he is an immature dork.

Emily is permanently disfigured by Sam.....and stays......well at that point who else is gonna want her?

Quil "imprints"on a baby girl. Jacob "imprints"........on an egg, lol. (Well, the author is Mormon, and they DO like to marry 'em off young.)

He procrastinates......instead of going to Seattle and dealing with the situation, he allows the situation to come to town.....possibly endangering pretty much, everyone.

Edward doesn't want to risk having sex with Bella for fear he might hurt her. Hey! you turn of the century 108 yr old virgin, there is a new position out, it's called "woman on top" maybe you have heard of it? I'm sure Bella has.

You know what they say about men and powerfully fast sports cars.....one word COMPENSATION.

Because of Edward, Bella begins to have bouts of schizophrenia. (Cool.....it's always good to have a friend with you when you do stupid shit).

She is drugged so they don't have to deal with her........(in the hospital) and Jasper and all of his little mood altering voodoo lol

And the fact there are indications of a suicide pact lol. (since neither wants to live if the other dies).

Maybe we should look into this a little further lol.

On the bright side, at least they are married when Bella gets knocked up. So rare these days lol.

A fairly typical Twilight Conversation.

This all started because I was considering changing the name of my blog. Turns out the name is currently not available, but I have my ways when I want something bad enough. Clearly my friend feels I am completely off my trolley, but in my defense I have told her I'm not nearly as bad as most Twilighters are......

And here is our stupid conversation to prove it lol.


Me: I'm thinking of changing my blog name from TwiHexed to the **********(named hidden). What's ur opinion.....

Marcella: In general or just this topic?

Me: In general-every topic is named differently

Her: I'm about to call Intervention on you and sick that Jeff dude on you.
Member to spell you name right... (Ok, clearly she thinks I'm nuts)

Me: Jeff? Who the fuck is Jeff? Oh! The dude from the intervention show?
Oh bring it on! You can't break me! I have Edward!

So what do u think? Should I go with *********? Ya know- u should be
my co-author on that blog! U would be soooo good at it!

Her: I can only imagine you prancing around with Twilight crap around and the
camera crew following you around as you're walking around the house in
your Twilight chonies!!!!! Then you agree to receive help at a Twilight
detox center in Jacksonville, Florida. (For the record, I don't have Twilight chonies, I also don't have a "Bella wig", or TW bedsheets)

**********. Only the true fans would know what that is.

Me: U forget my "bella wig". And leave my chonies out of this lol. No one
needs to about those or my Twilight bedsheets. And its funny that u
would mention Jacksonville FL. Did u watch the movie last night?? (she hasn't read the books or seen the movie, which is hysterical to me because she's ready to send me to rehab in FL of all places lol)

And what other kind of twilight fan is there? Sheesh!

Her: TOTALLY!!!! The camera catches you on the sly making out with your
Edward doll (the good one).
What movie? THE movie, no. Man, I don't have time. I'm hope to have
time this weekend.

Me: ::frowns:: but I don't have an Edward doll-yet.

Her: YET! But you will.

Me: And u say that like its a BAD thing!

Her: Hm. Good thing you can't see my face.

Me: Rotflmao! R u making the foochie face?

Her: Maybe.
OMG! Look at my horoscope today!
EDWARD IS COMING!

Aquarius
Something (or someone) new and exciting comes your way today, probably
midday, and might get you all revved up in a new way. It's time for you
to make a change of some kind, and this is the catalyst.

(yes, this is ridiculous, I know this is ridiculous.....)

Her: So it's saying "log on to ebay or Amazon for your Edward doll 40 year
old lady"

Me: Lmao- is it on sale?

Her: Does it matter? Your horoscope is telling you something!
OH.
Could you possibly turn my machine on? I almost forgot about it.
And how big is this doll anyways?

Me: Yes I'll turn ur machine on (she's and aesthetician and is referring to her wax lol)

Her: Oh ok. I thought it was like one of those 2 foot dolls or something

Me: Oh noooooooooooooo, he's a LARGER sized doll. It's bigger than a barbie/ken doll.


THE END

While this is truly no big deal, it does crack me up........poor thing has to listen to me almost every day. But just wait, I'll end up coming to work and there will be an Edward doll at my station, lol.

Happy birthday to you Robert Pattinson!!!

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After reading an article on Rob Pattinson (on another blog page) it got me to thinking.....What is he REALLY like? I don't know the man personally, most likely never will, and I'm not even sure I would know what to say even if I did meet him other than the fact that a simple hello would probably resemble some kind of verbal upchuck after getting stuck in my throat lol. To which I would then have to run away....quickly, hoping the rumors of him not running would be true so that he couldn't catch me and ask me what I had said in the first place.

So, I consulted my fav astrology book. "Born on a Rotten Day", by none other than the phenomenal Hazel Dixon-Cooper.


It's the only book I have ever read on astrology that is in my opinion accurate. The only reason I know this is because MY OWN discription is dead on to a "T" in a rather horrific way. So with his interview, and my book in mind, I set out to find out who the real Robert Pattinson is. Oh, and if I am indeed wrong on any account, I gladly invite Rob to prove me wrong himself by moving in with me for a year or two. I mean lol, how else are we gonna know, lol.

This is what she had to say, with regard to the illuminating, dark side of the zodiac- and I'm paraphrasing here:

Chapter 3 encompasses our beloved Taurus.

"What's mine is mine and what's yours is mine".

Element: Earth. Taurus Earth is like a swamp filled with ancient trees covered in moss. Maneuvering through this bog feels like a dream in which you try to walk but get nowhere. (sounds like Forks)

Symbol: The Bull. Bullish. Bullheaded. Raging bull. Full of bull.

Ruler: Venus, the goddess of lust, jealousy and hedonism. (::raises eyebrow...hmmmm lol)

Favourite Pastime: Passing judgments over dinner.

Favourite book: The Gluttonous Gourmet.

Role Model: Uncle Scrooge.

Dream Job: Hanging Judge.

Key Phrase: "Why do you make me hit you?"

Body Part: The throat, usually sore from bellowing. (or maybe vamping out)

Approach with Caution

"Taurus, the second sign of the zodiac, resides in the House of Money and Possessions. Traditional astrology kindly describes this Fixed-Earth sign as a steadfast, discriminating, thrifty homebody who is a great cook. Your real-life version more closely resembles a stubborn, judgmental, boring miser with a weight problem.
Mention Taurus, and most people conjure up a mental image of Sagittarius Monroe Leaf's Ferdinand the Bull, peacefully chewing sweet grass and batting his big, bovine eyes in placid contentment. Lean across the fence and he'll let you scratch behind his ears. Climb over that fence and attempt to pick a few of the daisies growing in his pasture, and you'll soon discover the dark side of tranquility-raging bull...........Some unconsciously lower the head a bit and look up at you as a real bull does before it charges.
Venus rules Taurus and here, this ancient bad girl bestows an insatiable appetite. Bulls can never get enough approval, possessions, food, rest or sex." (really?....hmmm, where is that red cape?)

If you love one, Taurus man

"He's patient, prudent and persevering, a tower of strength on whom you can lean. You'll fall for his shy charm and those big, sad eyes. He may remind you of a slow-talkin', slow-walkin' hero like Gary Cooper or Henry Fonda. His needs are simple: Home and Hearth, a good woman and a nest egg for that rainy day.
Taurus may offer old-shoe comfort, but what you're likely to get is an army-boot mentality. Hook up with a bull and either do this his way, or do your thing alone. He won't mind your independence, if it benefits him in some way, as long as his dinner is ready.
....He is jealous, possessive and obsessive. Piss him off and he'll hold a grudge.
....He's a cheapskate. Only a Taurus could live on a beer and beans budget unnecessarily. He may have millions, but you'll never see the bank accounts, although you might get an allowance. If you do get his money, it will only be because you outlived him, or murdered him in his sleep.
....His favourite game is the Grand Inquisitor. he will expect you to report every detail of your day. He will also rummage through your private papers, and read your diary at the first opportunity. If you have a past and are foolish enough to reveal it, he will likely use it again you at any time for the rest of your life.
He's stable and inert. Work and home are all he knows or needs......if you are the type who needs excitement now and then, you could lick the light socket or have an affair."

Could this at all be our Rob??


::giggles:: nahhhh............couldn't be lol.

Happy Birthday Rob! May your joys be many today and always.

How much has Twilight cost you?

So, as I sit here eating my taco bell enchirito, which is all I can afford right now, it brought up an interesting question......How much has Twilight cost me?

















First there was the PPV rental on cable......Twice..... $10




Then there was the books.......


Fortunately I was able to hit a sale and got them all, in hard bound edition for about
$60.




Then there was the 3-Disk special edition DVD......(not the paltry 2 disk dvd) ....That was about $20......



The Soundtrack.....$13


Then there was the mishap with the tv.

While trying to move it, it slipped and I dropped it. I stood there, stunned. Staring at it. My first immediate thought? "OMG I have to get a new tv so I can watch Twilight." So......here is my poor dead tv.....lol




And my nice new 26" LCD Flatscreen............with extras lol



Yea, nice, I love it....so much clarity.........and about $600 later..........


Next came Bella's Bracelet. I found it online one day and decided I had to have one. I looked and looked and while mine does not have a wooden wolf, it does have a hand carved stone wolf and I like it much better than the others I found......





Oddly enough I never take this thing off lol. My friends think I'm a lunatic lol. They just don't understand.......$55



Last but not least......for the moment anyway.........there are the OTHER books. Thanks to Bella, I have now purchased the complete works of Jane Austen, and since I'm reading the classics, let's throw in War and Peace by Tolstoy.......and when I can no long stomach Twilight...(yea, lol, like that's gonna happen) I bought into another vampire series by JR Ward.........




That was another $60...........plus lunch at Baja Fresh........for $10 where I sat and read Persuasion.





Plus my fuzzy purple butterfly pen with which I plan to write the cast of Twilight and tell them they can at least spring for lunch lol..........$3

















Total Bill.......$831.00



(Actually, if the entire cast can't make lunch, I'm hoping they will take a vote and send Kellan Lutz............he is after all, in my opinion, the hottest Cullen..........and seems like the most fun.....so Kellan, if you get this lol......... I'd LOVE to show you all the stuff I bought today lol)