Now before you read I have to preface this by saying I love the books, and I'm reading them again for the third time lol and probably would have gladly walked to my own annihilation if Edward were delivering it lol.
But I am curious to know if anyone has really looked at these books lol.
He confesses to her he IS the bad guy. (Bella honey, that was your tip off right there lol)
He tells her he has killed people. AND SHE DOESN'T CARE!! (that's kind of a deal breaker for me. It's bad enough these days that before I date a guy I have to ask if he has a prison record I need to know about.)
They deal in dirty paper and grand theft auto.
Edward is always condescending toward Bella, "lovingly" insulting her awareness, among other things.
He tells her she is his "own personal brand of heroin" (Now, I have already told my 13 yr old niece, if ANY guy says this to you RUN THE OTHER WAY!!) Clearly we are dealing with a totally dysfunctional person and a classic co-dependent relationship.
She frequently comes home from visiting him with injuries.
His family "sequesters" her for her own good. lol........we usually just call it kidnapping.
Rosalie's constant dislike and threatening behavior toward Bella. (Rosalie is a bitch anyway...but I'm guessing it just stems from her low self esteem and narcissistic behavior) lol.
Dumping her over a birthday incident that wasn't even her fault because your idiot mood altering brother can't keep himself in check.
Charlie can't be bothered with Bella's birthday....the game is on.
He takes back all his gifts to her. (had it been ME he left in the forest that day, I would have run home, boxed up all his shit and MAILED his crap back to him........after I cleaned out the cat box that day.)
No one listens to what Bella wants for herself and ignores her wishes.
He hates her friends. (every girl should have a pet)
He sneaks into her house repeatedly at night, in the beginning without anyone's knowledge, then without Charlies. (think about that, someone watching you sleep? Don't serial killers do that?) lol that's just fucking creepy.
Not to mention the B & E to get the truck key......
It really is all about him.....including the time Bella is coerced into going to Italy to save his wonderful life (after he dumped her without giving a flying fuck about her feelings whatsoever and not even BOTHERING to do any fact checking about whether she was still alive or not.) Isn't Edward the one who said "Alice's visions are subjective"?
Oh and she leaves a note for her dad without telling the truth and is gone for like 3 days without so much as a phone call? (I would have gotten my ASS kicked when I got home!)
His sisters, Alice and Rosalie dress Bella up like a tart for Pimp Edward, knowing clearly she does NOT dig on this. Not even the shoes.
He leaves Bella high and dry knowing there is another vampire out to destroy her. Nice. Whatta dick. ( Yea Eddie, like you didn't know Victoria would come after Bella when your family ripped James to pieces and burned him. You insensitive prick.)
He is always with her, watching her every move....he's even in all her classes. (I call that stalking, lol........or sociopathic........either one works, lol)
He hates Jacob for being the man that he ISN'T. Jacob actually cares about Bella....even if he is an immature dork.
Emily is permanently disfigured by Sam.....and stays......well at that point who else is gonna want her?
Quil "imprints"on a baby girl. Jacob "imprints"........on an egg, lol. (Well, the author is Mormon, and they DO like to marry 'em off young.)
He procrastinates......instead of going to Seattle and dealing with the situation, he allows the situation to come to town.....possibly endangering pretty much, everyone.
Edward doesn't want to risk having sex with Bella for fear he might hurt her. Hey! you turn of the century 108 yr old virgin, there is a new position out, it's called "woman on top" maybe you have heard of it? I'm sure Bella has.
You know what they say about men and powerfully fast sports cars.....one word COMPENSATION.
Because of Edward, Bella begins to have bouts of schizophrenia. (Cool.....it's always good to have a friend with you when you do stupid shit).
She is drugged so they don't have to deal with her........(in the hospital) and Jasper and all of his little mood altering voodoo lol
And the fact there are indications of a suicide pact lol. (since neither wants to live if the other dies).
Maybe we should look into this a little further lol.
On the bright side, at least they are married when Bella gets knocked up. So rare these days lol.
This all started because I was considering changing the name of my blog. Turns out the name is currently not available, but I have my ways when I want something bad enough. Clearly my friend feels I am completely off my trolley, but in my defense I have told her I'm not nearly as bad as most Twilighters are......
And here is our stupid conversation to prove it lol.
Me: I'm thinking of changing my blog name from TwiHexed to the **********(named hidden). What's ur opinion.....
Marcella: In general or just this topic?
Me: In general-every topic is named differently
Her: I'm about to call Intervention on you and sick that Jeff dude on you.
Member to spell you name right... (Ok, clearly she thinks I'm nuts)
Me: Jeff? Who the fuck is Jeff? Oh! The dude from the intervention show?
Oh bring it on! You can't break me! I have Edward!
So what do u think? Should I go with *********? Ya know- u should be
my co-author on that blog! U would be soooo good at it!
Her: I can only imagine you prancing around with Twilight crap around and the
camera crew following you around as you're walking around the house in
your Twilight chonies!!!!! Then you agree to receive help at a Twilight
detox center in Jacksonville, Florida. (For the record, I don't have Twilight chonies, I also don't have a "Bella wig", or TW bedsheets)
**********. Only the true fans would know what that is.
Me: U forget my "bella wig". And leave my chonies out of this lol. No one
needs to about those or my Twilight bedsheets. And its funny that u
would mention Jacksonville FL. Did u watch the movie last night?? (she hasn't read the books or seen the movie, which is hysterical to me because she's ready to send me to rehab in FL of all places lol)
And what other kind of twilight fan is there? Sheesh!
Her: TOTALLY!!!! The camera catches you on the sly making out with your
Edward doll (the good one).
What movie? THE movie, no. Man, I don't have time. I'm hope to have
time this weekend.
Me: ::frowns:: but I don't have an Edward doll-yet.
Her: YET! But you will.
Me: And u say that like its a BAD thing!
Her: Hm. Good thing you can't see my face.
Me: Rotflmao! R u making the foochie face?
Her: Maybe.
OMG! Look at my horoscope today!
EDWARD IS COMING!
Aquarius
Something (or someone) new and exciting comes your way today, probably
midday, and might get you all revved up in a new way. It's time for you
to make a change of some kind, and this is the catalyst.
(yes, this is ridiculous, I know this is ridiculous.....)
Her: So it's saying "log on to ebay or Amazon for your Edward doll 40 year
old lady"
Me: Lmao- is it on sale?
Her: Does it matter? Your horoscope is telling you something!
OH.
Could you possibly turn my machine on? I almost forgot about it.
And how big is this doll anyways?
Me: Yes I'll turn ur machine on (she's and aesthetician and is referring to her wax lol)
Her: Oh ok. I thought it was like one of those 2 foot dolls or something
Me: Oh noooooooooooooo, he's a LARGER sized doll. It's bigger than a barbie/ken doll.
THE END
While this is truly no big deal, it does crack me up........poor thing has to listen to me almost every day. But just wait, I'll end up coming to work and there will be an Edward doll at my station, lol.
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After reading an article on Rob Pattinson (on another blog page) it got me to thinking.....What is he REALLY like? I don't know the man personally, most likely never will, and I'm not even sure I would know what to say even if I did meet him other than the fact that a simple hello would probably resemble some kind of verbal upchuck after getting stuck in my throat lol. To which I would then have to run away....quickly, hoping the rumors of him not running would be true so that he couldn't catch me and ask me what I had said in the first place.
So, I consulted my fav astrology book. "Born on a Rotten Day", by none other than the phenomenal Hazel Dixon-Cooper.
It's the only book I have ever read on astrology that is in my opinion accurate. The only reason I know this is because MY OWN discription is dead on to a "T" in a rather horrific way. So with his interview, and my book in mind, I set out to find out who the real Robert Pattinson is. Oh, and if I am indeed wrong on any account, I gladly invite Rob to prove me wrong himself by moving in with me for a year or two. I mean lol, how else are we gonna know, lol.
This is what she had to say, with regard to the illuminating, dark side of the zodiac- and I'm paraphrasing here:
Chapter 3 encompasses our beloved Taurus.
"What's mine is mine and what's yours is mine".
Element: Earth. Taurus Earth is like a swamp filled with ancient trees covered in moss. Maneuvering through this bog feels like a dream in which you try to walk but get nowhere. (sounds like Forks)
Symbol: The Bull. Bullish. Bullheaded. Raging bull. Full of bull.
Ruler: Venus, the goddess of lust, jealousy and hedonism. (::raises eyebrow...hmmmm lol)
Favourite Pastime: Passing judgments over dinner.
Favourite book: The Gluttonous Gourmet.
Role Model: Uncle Scrooge.
Dream Job: Hanging Judge.
Key Phrase: "Why do you make me hit you?"
Body Part: The throat, usually sore from bellowing. (or maybe vamping out)
Approach with Caution
"Taurus, the second sign of the zodiac, resides in the House of Money and Possessions. Traditional astrology kindly describes this Fixed-Earth sign as a steadfast, discriminating, thrifty homebody who is a great cook. Your real-life version more closely resembles a stubborn, judgmental, boring miser with a weight problem.
Mention Taurus, and most people conjure up a mental image of Sagittarius Monroe Leaf's Ferdinand the Bull, peacefully chewing sweet grass and batting his big, bovine eyes in placid contentment. Lean across the fence and he'll let you scratch behind his ears. Climb over that fence and attempt to pick a few of the daisies growing in his pasture, and you'll soon discover the dark side of tranquility-raging bull...........Some unconsciously lower the head a bit and look up at you as a real bull does before it charges.
Venus rules Taurus and here, this ancient bad girl bestows an insatiable appetite. Bulls can never get enough approval, possessions, food, rest or sex." (really?....hmmm, where is that red cape?)
If you love one, Taurus man
"He's patient, prudent and persevering, a tower of strength on whom you can lean. You'll fall for his shy charm and those big, sad eyes. He may remind you of a slow-talkin', slow-walkin' hero like Gary Cooper or Henry Fonda. His needs are simple: Home and Hearth, a good woman and a nest egg for that rainy day.
Taurus may offer old-shoe comfort, but what you're likely to get is an army-boot mentality. Hook up with a bull and either do this his way, or do your thing alone. He won't mind your independence, if it benefits him in some way, as long as his dinner is ready.
....He is jealous, possessive and obsessive. Piss him off and he'll hold a grudge.
....He's a cheapskate. Only a Taurus could live on a beer and beans budget unnecessarily. He may have millions, but you'll never see the bank accounts, although you might get an allowance. If you do get his money, it will only be because you outlived him, or murdered him in his sleep.
....His favourite game is the Grand Inquisitor. he will expect you to report every detail of your day. He will also rummage through your private papers, and read your diary at the first opportunity. If you have a past and are foolish enough to reveal it, he will likely use it again you at any time for the rest of your life.
He's stable and inert. Work and home are all he knows or needs......if you are the type who needs excitement now and then, you could lick the light socket or have an affair."
Could this at all be our Rob??
::giggles:: nahhhh............couldn't be lol.
Happy Birthday Rob! May your joys be many today and always.
So, as I sit here eating my taco bell enchirito, which is all I can afford right now, it brought up an interesting question......How much has Twilight cost me?
First there was the PPV rental on cable......Twice..... $10
Then there was the books.......
Fortunately I was able to hit a sale and got them all, in hard bound edition for about
$60.
Then there was the 3-Disk special edition DVD......(not the paltry 2 disk dvd) ....That was about $20......
The Soundtrack.....$13
Then there was the mishap with the tv.
While trying to move it, it slipped and I dropped it. I stood there, stunned. Staring at it. My first immediate thought? "OMG I have to get a new tv so I can watch Twilight." So......here is my poor dead tv.....lol
And my nice new 26" LCD Flatscreen............with extras lol
Yea, nice, I love it....so much clarity.........and about $600 later..........
Next came Bella's Bracelet. I found it online one day and decided I had to have one. I looked and looked and while mine does not have a wooden wolf, it does have a hand carved stone wolf and I like it much better than the others I found......
Oddly enough I never take this thing off lol. My friends think I'm a lunatic lol. They just don't understand.......$55
Last but not least......for the moment anyway.........there are the OTHER books. Thanks to Bella, I have now purchased the complete works of Jane Austen, and since I'm reading the classics, let's throw in War and Peace by Tolstoy.......and when I can no long stomach Twilight...(yea, lol, like that's gonna happen) I bought into another vampire series by JR Ward.........
That was another $60...........plus lunch at Baja Fresh........for $10 where I sat and read Persuasion.
Plus my fuzzy purple butterfly pen with which I plan to write the cast of Twilight and tell them they can at least spring for lunch lol..........$3
Total Bill.......$831.00
(Actually, if the entire cast can't make lunch, I'm hoping they will take a vote and send Kellan Lutz............he is after all, in my opinion, the hottest Cullen..........and seems like the most fun.....so Kellan, if you get this lol......... I'd LOVE to show you all the stuff I bought today lol)
Ya know, sometimes there are just days when you work in the wrong salon lol.
According to the article the woman was finishing up for the day and low and behold, what does she discover in the trash but two scripts?!!
Get a load of this!
This really needs no explanation....you should just do it. Nuff said.
I encourage everyone to help Michael Welch and Touched by Twilight to help women who cannot afford mammogram screenings. I cannot stress enough how important it is to get screened, because early detection for Breast Cancer is the best way to help fight against it. I've done my part by clicking and have been telling everyone I know to do the same!
Thank you Michael and everyone at TBT!
So I don't know what the hell happened really. One day I am going about my life, going to work, doing the daily, completely ignorant and unaware of what is lying in wait for me, around the corner, like a predator, waiting for it's prey. And then the next day......I was one of "them". The Twilight People. It all starts innocently enough.......someone asks if you've read the book, they tell you a little bit about it, just enough to lure you in. You buy the first book.....and by page three you are somehow transformed into a twi-junkie. You can't put the book down....you take it with you where ever you go....you turn off your cell phone so no one dares call while you are with 'him".
Edward.
The next think you know is, you are buying the rest of the books, the dvd, the soundtrack to the movie. Suddenly reading a book 5 times doesn't seem so odd. You notice a website that has a replica of Bella's Bracelet, so you order it, and you seem to be haunting Twilight related websites and blog pages.....waiting......needing your next fix.........
Yes, it starts off innocently enough. Then before you know it you are in it and there is nothing you can do about it. You abandon your friends and your family considers and intervention.
Innocent. Sure. Right. Whatever you say. This is my own personal journey into twi-hell......join me if you dare. If not, better take the blue pill instead.
