Advice columns? Or just the opinions of the over educated and over inflated?

So I got off work from my "real" job today early.  Went to my fave taco place, got me some tacos and picked up a local periodical that used to be fun to read but now has mostly pot advertisements in it.

 As I am munching down on my #2 combo plate (two shredded beef tacos with beans and rice) I am reading the advice column in the rag mag.  Now I don't know about you but my advice usually differs from that given in advice columns.  Number one, I am not politically correct.  I am not going to sugar coat my opinion (that you are asking for may I remind you) so that you might feel better about yourself.  Number two, I do not have a PhD or any other over inflated degree.  Actually, I am glad for that because if I did have a degree and was dispensing so called "professional" advice, in some states I could probably get into trouble over it lol.  What I am by legal trade is a hairdresser.  Which means I fall somewhere in the neighborhood of PhD Psychiatrist and bartender.  Which means I know all your deepest darkest secrets and what your true hair color is.  I know who you are cheating on, who your husband is cheating with and whether or not your kids are on drugs.  And I am pretty much sworn to secrecy because I want to keep your business.  And let's face it, someone has to cover those gray roots, right?

Ok.  Reading the advice column in today's rag mag.  Someone wrote in to say they were engaged to their soul mate.  But the so called soul mate, aka bitch, packed up and left without so much as a reason.  Very low class if you ask me.  I think if you share time with someone, then they should have the benefit of a proper "fuck off".  Even if it is just to say "hey, I don't love you it's not working out for me, so I"m out".  So natch, the one left behind is feeling rather dispondant.  Well I would too.  For about 5 minutes.  So the leave-ee is not able to eat, not able to sleep, having a hard time working.  No. Bueno.

The columnist drones on about all this psychobabble bullshit.  Love yourself. Be kind to yourself.  You are in mourning.  You are in withdrawal.  .....blah blah blah.

Are you fucking kidding me???

Here is the real version.

Dude, I realize the person you called a "soul mate" split, with no explanation to you whatsoever.  That should be your first clue.  Soul mates don't treat you that way.  it's obvious that you loved her more than she loved you.  Nothing wrong with that.  But it really is better to find out now than later that she was as uncaring as she was.  And let's face it.  She didn't care about you.  That has nothing to do with you and everything to do with her.  She did you a favor by bailing.  This way, you can start your search for someone new, who genuinely cares about you.  Someone who values you, the way you live your life, your morals and values.  YOU.   So don't lose one more minute of sleep over her.  Because I am sure she isn't losing a bit of sleep over you.  Go with some friends to your fave food place, order your fave meal.  Have some laughs and good times.  Stay up late and watch movies with those friends.  And when all is said and done, have a great nights sleep.  Because in the end, you deserve better than her.  And who knows, maybe she knew that and that's why she split.  People around you love you and don't want to see you hurting.  So don't waste another minute and don't wake up another day and give that bitch any more power in your life.  Life's too short and you deserve all the laughter and smiles you can get.

Now that's how it should have gone.

The Hunger Games, Uh, I mean Battle Royale, um, I mean Lord of the Flies.....

Alrighty then. After hearing all the hoopla about how great The Hunger Games was I decided to sit down and watch it. I'm just gonna come right out and say it. I was NOT impressed. If this is what everyone is saying is the big blockbuster of the year then I'm not sure they have any taste. Lord of the Flies was a much better movie than this one. Both the 1963 and the 1990 versions. But lets go back to 1996, when a Japanese author Koushun Takami wrote a book called (translated) Battle Royale. Its a story about 42 (21 boys and 21 girls) who are taken to a deserted island and told they must fight to the death. If more than "survivor" lives, then everyone dies. There can be only one victor. Apparently their totalitarian government is bored and using this as a punishment for their rowdy youth. They are 7th, 8th and 9th graders. Basically kids. Sound familiar??? Apparently Suzanne Collins claims to have never heard of the book, or movie (which came out in 2000) until AFTER her book was turned in. Ok, I suppose it is conceivable that two people can come up with the same story concept. However considering how much alike they are, I'm kinda doubting it. But whatever. Battle Royale is a far better movie IMHO. Its raw and gritty and lacks the flash of the latters Hollywood glitz and glam. As I sat watching the 2012 version, I couldn't help thinking I have seen this before. While being a wee bit Third Reich-ish, and a blatant rip off of Battle Royale with a touch of Lord of the Flies, let's toss in a little 1984, a smattering of Blade Runner, a bit of Harry Potter since that one chick for some reason kept reminding me of Imelda Stauntons Character "Dolores Umbridge" and lets finish off with just a pinch of RuPauls Drag Race, shall we? Suffice it to say, I am glad I did not waste money on this piece of crap.

I have no idea.................

I have no idea who this beautiful soul is, lol but the minute I saw him I fell head over heels.  And though no one reads any of my crap my odds of finding out who he is is next to nil.  But I wanted to throw it out there anyway.  Who ever you are.  Beautiful man lol.

Ok so I skipped a few...........and then some.

I've read about a few books since I last posted.  I've been dealing with allergies, taxes, cleaning and organizing and getting my business in order so I can start promoting again.  IF that bothers you well eat me lol.  No one is really reading this shit anyway.  So I'll keep my reviews short, if I can remember what the hell I read to begin with.

First up is Maya Banks, the Sweet Series.  I loved this series from the get go.  Iti's like taking a peek into peoples lives.  This is Cole's book...and who knew Cole had such a sexy, sinful, naughty side to him!  Don't waste your time with the Fifty Shades Series, read this one instead. 

Cole finally hooks up with his former college sweetheart Ren, only to learn she belongs to another.  Literally lol.  And Cole being Cole will do whatever he has to to win her back.  And he fucking better. 

This is my fave one of the series.  The thought of being in a poly amorous relationship with two men just gives me the tingles from head to toe.  And why shouldn't it?  Two men to take care of me, make me feel safe and loved and cater to my every sexual need??  The mere idea alone could make me pass out lol.

Tiger by Laurann Dohrner.

I got into this series on a whim.  I was looking at ebooks and found her book Brawn....ok actually I found the cover of the book lol.  The dude on the cover was a complete stud, even if he didn't have a head.  I read the trail, downloaded the book (it was the 5th in the New Species Series) and I was off and running.  I loved the characters.  They are a group of people who were created by a pharmaceutical company and had their DNA combined with Feline, Canine or Primate DNA.  So they are people, with a twist, lol.  I liked the simplicity and the ferocity of the characters and how the author chose to write the characters.  How the characters are rescued and freed from their torturous captors and then how they learn to live as free people.  A lot of the dialogue had me laughing.  The characters simplicity in understanding and speech made them all very endearing to me. I think my fave book in the series is Valient....but alas I have read them all to date.  It's a fun read.....different that the Lora Leigh Series and much more light hearted I think.

Lori Foster, A Pefect Storm

Again, another series I got into merely by chance.  I was at the store, needed something to read......voila, involved in another series lol.

This is Arizona Storms Story.  She survived being kidnapped, sold into slavery by trafficers and nearly killed when thrown off a bridge.   Enter hot guy on the cover who's name escapes me for the moment lol.  Does it really matter anyway?  In the story, the guy is a typical alpha male dominant.  The guy I love to love but in reality would have no idea what to do with because he would probably drive me utterly insane!  But if its the guy on the cover?  Sanity is highly overrated anyway.


Read the book, don't read the book, it's entirely up to you.  I enjoyed it and I look forward to the next one.  If I sit here and tell you about it, you won't really have a reason to read it now will you?

Lover Reborn, JR Ward

In this 10th official installment in the Black Dagger Brotherhood series (not counting the novellas Father Mine or Story of Son) We find Tohrment a shell of the former brother he once was.  After the death of his Shellan, Wellesandra (Wellsie) and their as yet unborn son, Tohr is trying to exist, trying to live.....trying.  But as a bonded male, losing your mate is akin to losing your life, so, why continue?

Tohr is pulled back and returned to the Brotherhood by the Angel Lassiter, a guttermouth, hard partying Maury Povich watching Angel as it were.  But Tohr hasn't really moved on.  He's stuck and full of revenge over the death of his mate.

Enter No'One.  She is the biological mother of Xhexania.  No'One and Tohr had a past.  After She was raped and held captive by an unknown sympath,  Tohr and Darius nurse her to health and see her through her pregnancy.  To which she then commits suicide and leaves Tohr to bury her in the end and to find a home for the orphaned Xhex.  Reunited again by a miracle of the Scribe Virgin, these two damaged and severely fucked up people take a comfort of sorts with each other.  Over time growing fond of each other, but not really letting go of their pasts and letting the other one in all the way.  Which is the problem.  If they don't they will never be able to save themselves.

I wait all year for the next installment of this series.  On pins and needles, kneeling on glass.  This is one storyline I wish the characters were real.  However I am glad they are not due to some of the untold horrors the characters all suffer.  It is hard not to fall in love with the characters though.  They become a part of you, and you find yourself hoping for their happiness.

JR Ward doesn't know how many books in this series she will write.  She has been noted with saying something along the lines of she will just keep writing them until she doesn't.  All of the characters are colorful and very complex.  Each with his own environment.  And all of them and brilliantly interwoven into a bigger picture of war, peace, love, accomplishment etc.

It didn't take me long to read this book.  Though it has many chapters, they are short and the book is a pretty easy read.  This story flowed very well, unlike all the hard edged flashbacks and forwards that John Matthew's book had previously.  I loved Tohr, I hated him, I felt bad for him, I wanted to scream and yell at him and at one point I wanted to punch him.  And he would have taken it.  Because he is a male of worth.  Which is a rare find today, even in the human world.  Which is why I have probably fallen head over heels in love with the males in this series.  They are my new bar, my new standard....and nothing less will do.

There is a huge twist at the end.  I'm not giving it away.  I'm kind of surprised I didn't see it coming but all I can say is HOLY SHITE!  I was totally spun.

If you haven't read the books, buy them.  Like now.  Read them.  Immediately.  And I hope you enjoy them and fall in love with them like I have.

Until next spring my Brothers, when we finally get to read Qhuinn & Blay's  story. .......  I have a feeling I know a bit about how that one is going to go and I am already excited as all hell to read it!!!

Taking a Shot by Jaci Burton

In this third installment of the Play by Play series, we are reintroduced to the Riley Clan.  This is sister Jenna's story of her hot romance with hockey stud Tyler "Ty" Anderson.  I found this series sort of by accident.  I was in between series and needed something to read.  The first book, The Perfect Play, has a pic of the very sumptuous Jed Hill on the cover which was the only reason I bought the book lol.  Yes, I admit it lol.  Who could resist??  Now in defense of myself, I rarely by a book strictly for the cover, but it has been known to happen.  Three times.  Broken, by Maya Banks, Perfect Play and Dark Taste of Rapture by Gena Showalter...(haven't read it yet though).  Annnnnnnnnyway....Taking a Shot, very nice cover indeed, no complaints there.


What can I say about this book? It was an ok read....not overly exciting.  It's mostly Jenna lamenting about why she will never date a jock (her family owns a sports bar, her brothers and cousin play professional sports, she is surrounded by it 24/7).   Now, to some extent I can relate to this.  I had brothers who played, family who coached, friends who played, some of who went pro.  Do you hear me pissing and moaning??  No.  I can still sit behind home plate and call every pitch that comes over.  Once it's in your blood, it never really leaves and I still love a good ball game.


So Jenna runs and runs and runs from the very studly Ty.  Who seems like he has demons galore to fight, but in reality he just took his parents divorce extremely hard.  Which is why he doesn't do relationships or love.  I say get over it.


But like protons and neutrons they gravitate to each other and Jenna is somehow under the impression that if she just goes ahead and does Ty, she will get him out of her system.  Yea.  We all know how that turns out lol.    


All in all, a rather uneventful book.  But, considering it followed the Fifty Shades Series, I've had enough drama for a while.  Sometimes, no drama is just nice.  And plus....I like the Rileys.  Like I always say, don't ever take my word for it.  Read it yourself and develop your own opinion.  While you are still allowed to have one.




And they really should list the models on the covers.  Sometimes it really is all about them.

Fifty Shades Freed, E.L. James

Alright, so I have finally finished the Fifty Shades series.  Took a little longer than expected because I do actually have to work for a living.

In this installment we find the young Master Christian still being an insufferable ass.  As I was reading through the entire series, one strain of thought kept coming to my mind:  "If Christian acted like that toward me, I would have kicked his ass and kicked him to the curb".  Yes, I understand he is horribly messed up, but these days, who isn't?  Suffering and abusive childhood, as many people do and have, does NOT give you the right to act like a megalomaniacle prick.

Now the entire story is a bit Twilighty, as it was meant to be originally.  If I remember correctly it came off a sight called Twilighted.net.  I am still a member of that sight.  E.L. James fashioned the character Christian after the Stephanie Meyer character Edward Cullen.....but in looks, I think that is as far as it goes.  Christian is actually more realistically fashioned after Richard Gere's character Edward Lewis in Pretty Woman.  Right down to the job and the sex on the piano.  Both Christian and Edward buy companies and break them apart and sell them bit by bit and make a very prosperous living doing it.  It also has a flare of 9 1/2 Weeks.  The character John being the powerful  dom to Elizabeth's simple and fun but not really a sub. 

Now I have been reading reviews online and trying as best I can to keep up with the information on this series.  This is really the first time in a book I think that the BDSM lifestyle has gone mainstream.  Frankly I have no idea how it made the NY Times Best Seller list, other than the fact that all the "mommies" on the east coast have gone "Twilight Mad" over it.  Which brings me to this question:  What the hell are these people reading on the east coast that makes them think this series is the shit???  Are they serious?  These people need to visit a bookstore more frequently then.  The story line is simple:  Controlling, seriously fucked up young man falls for educated, simple young gal.  Then tries to control her whole entire world.  But while doing this, he finds his salvation lies with her and he begins to heal.  All three books are filled with constant conflict; him castigating her, her fighting and complying.  It actually made me anxious a few times while reading it lol.  I don't have this kind of drama in my real life I sure as shit don't want to read about lol.  If Anastasia were my friend I would have told her to dump the asshole lol.  And there were many times in the storyline I thought if I were involved with Christian, I would have given him the big fat finger and fuck you to boot.  Despite his first 4 years being neglected by his birth mother, Christian spent most of his life in a loving productive home.  At some point I would think the character would realise, at a much younger age, that how he chooses to live his life is up to him. 

Of course we cannot forget the character Elena.  This part of the story line is very tricky.  Christian falls into Elena's grasp at the age of 15.  Christian is on a very negative and destructive streak.  While working for Elena doing yard work, to earn money for a secret drinking problem, Elena slaps Christian, kisses him passionately, then slaps him again.  Turned on, confused, UNDERAGE.  How does one deal with this subject matter??  On the one hand, I grew up the only girl and an all boy household.  At 15, none of my brothers would have minded the affections of an older woman.  I'm not sure many 15 year old boys would.  It does happen, and probably more frequently than we know of.  Does it make it appropriate?  Certainly not.  So how does one reconcile this plot line, other than to say, despite that fact that for a while, it did help Christian focus his life?  You can't.  But you can say underage, and it's a huge gray area.

Now despite Christians overbearing control issues, Anastasia....well this ditz can't seem to get her act together.  I didn't get the idea when Christian would ask her to do something he felt it was overkill, even though she did.  But even when there was a threat of danger, this dumb broad blew off Christians warnings.  Hell at one point, I wanted to hunt her down and beat the crap out of her.  She knows Christian is seriously messed up yet consciously or maybe not consciously, she baits him time and time again.  Then she wanders around the book wondering "is he mad at me?"  Yes he's fucking mad at you you twit".  Her serious bout with low self esteem had me wanting to gouge my eyes out.

Now yes, the big hub bub about the book series is its BDSM theme.  I read a lot of books with this theme.  This is BDSM light.  It's really not a big deal in this book.  It's handled with relative respect I think within the confines of the story, but it is NOT the most colorful I have ever read.  I would call it, as I did in my previous synopsis, An Introduction to BDSM.  Small "scenes" are played out...there is a demonstration of what not to do, (Christian spanking Ana with a belt, and despite her pain and intolerance, she accepts it and doesn't safeword) and a demonstration of what is appropriate (Christian stimulating Ana and denying her orgasm to the point of pain so she finally safewords and stops Christians punishment, an action he took to far as a dom, to her inexperienced submission)

Now, Joyce Lamb of USA Today, wrote a ridiculous article about the books and I have serious doubt she even read them....thoroughly at least.

http://books.usatoday.com/happyeverafter/post/2012-03-15/fifty-shades-of-grey-who-knew-women-like-erotica/648743/1

So I intend to pick her review apart bit by bit here.  Her first faux pas is stating that the books BDSM plays a big role in the books.  It doesn't.  Not really.  BDSM ( Bondage, Domination/submission, Sadism, Masochism) is a part of the books, but mental instability and the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) plays and even bigger role, constant throughout the entire series.

Next, Joyce Lamb states:  "I have noticed, though, that the hubbub about Fifty Shades of Grey has highlighted some frustrating misconceptions about romance novels, erotica and readers of romance novels and erotica. Fact: Fifty Shades of Grey is not a romance novel. The ending is not happy.

I will answer this first.   Joyce, Joyce, Joyce.....what to do, what to do.  I am not in the publishing industry, though seeing articles like this I may rethink that.  I'm just an avid book reader.  I have a day job, friends, enjoy going out from time to time etc.  Fifty Shades is neither really romance or erotica.  It falls in the the abyss of the in between.  Now, the publishing industry equates erotica as something that "pleasurable turns one on".  Frankly, the constant bickering in the series was a huge TURN OFF for me, lol.  Second, if Joyce has actually read the books, she would in fact know the ending is a happy one.  So much so it can bring warm fuzzies to even Christians cold heart.



"The No. 1 rule in romance novels: A happy ending is a must, even when a book is only the first in a trilogy that probably does have a happy ending."

"Also, the "hero" of Fifty Shades of Grey does something at the end that is not redeemable by romance novel standards".


**SPOILER ALERT**

Now, if she is solely speaking about the first book...she's wrong again.  It wasn't Christian that did something that was irredeemable, it was Ana.  She consented to allow Christian to spank her with a belt on her butt.  She was curious and wanted to see how dark it could be.   Christian gave her instructions for safewording, but she didn't use them.  The first rule in D/s is the sub has all the power.  If a safeword is used, all action ceases and the sub is immediately cared for.  However, Ana acted as if Christian knew she was in unsafe mode When he didn't, and acted like he beat her when that is in fact NOT what happened.  IN fact when Christian found out how she felt he was devastated.  It was Ana, not Christian.  So in what amounts to her humiliation and bruised ego, she decides to bail on Christian, and he decides to let her go.  Ana is an idiot.

The books are NOT MEANT TO BE READ AS STAND ALONES!!! They are meant to be as one complete story....so she's not right.

Now for my next answer.  What is Joyce talking about?  **SPOILER ALERT**

Near the end of the book, Ana tells Christian she is pregnant.  Needless to say IF YOU HAD ACTUALLY READ THE BOOK, you knew he would come fifty shades of unglued.  So he flips out  on Ana, and storms out of the house.  He meant to go to Dr. Flynn, who isn't available, and ends up seeing the bitch troll Elena.  Again.  It's not sexual, even though he does confess later that Elena made a pass at him, which made him realize how much he did in fact love Ana.  Granted, it was a total dick move on his part.  Yes, they talked briefly about kids, decided they were too young, needed to spend time getting to know each other better before they embarked on that endeavour.  But as we all know shit happens.  Irredeemable??  HARDLY.

In JR Wards book of the Black Dagger Brotherhood, Lover Eternal, Rhage brings Mary, the object of his affections back to his bed.  He loves her, has said as much, but yet still leaves her to go "level himself out" by fucking some other broad in a bar.   A fact that is brought to light upon his return, in front of Mary, by the character Phury.  Talk about a slap in the face!  When I read that I was devastated for her character.  Had it been me, I would have been done with him.  Stone cold, never talked to him again, never seen him again, over and out fuck you I'm outta here don't try and find me ever...gone.  THAT is irredeemable.  However, Mary took it, and all worked out in the end.


 "I won't spoil the story for the three people who haven't read it yet, but bottom line: Not a romance novel, not a romance hero. And that's not because of his BDSM tendencies -- you'll see why if you keep reading. "


Ok for the three people who havent read it.  Don't worry about it.  It's an ok read....Not worth the 10$ ebook price, thats for sure.  It IS a romance novel, Christian IS a romance hero.  And Joyce has obviously never spent time in the romance/erotica section of a bookstore to even remotely know what she's talking about.

I could go on, but suffice to say, read the answers given by Raelene, she is in the industry and she knows what she's talking about it.

Is Fifty Shades a good read?  It's hard to say.  It's not on my list of top 10.  I found it parochial, frustrating, banal and repetitive to the nth degree.  However, I did embrace the characters and I did want then to overcome and succeed.  Despite my earlier prognostication of wanting them to destroy themselves, lol, I did want them to have their HEA in the end.  I do think this book is better geared for a 20 something audience (I am 45).  Would I read it again?  Probably not, which I why I bought the ebook. Delete.  Nuff said.  When it comes to BDSM or D/s or Menage, my preferred authors are Joey W. Hill and Maya Banks.  You can even throw Lora Leigh in this category as well as Jaci Burton.  And I'm always looking for other authors to read as well.

In the end, what I look for in a book is something that is so far out of my own reality that it takes me to place of complete unfamiliarity and entertainment.  I may be 45, but I am still a girl and I still love a good fairy tale.  With whips and chains or not lol.