It's raining today, which for some reason I find apropos as I sit mulling over this book. Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James. I must first preface this by saying, I did not know of this book until a day or so ago. Since then I have read a few reviews for it and tried to bring myself to knowledge of it, as well as it's rank on the NY Times Best Seller List. While this book does have BDSM undertones, more appropriately Domination and submission (D/s) it is tactfully done and by far tame by my standards. I am by far more drawn to what I consider to be the calignosity that surrounds it.
At the start of reading this book I almost immediately get the same disturbing undercurrent as I did when I began reading The Story of O. There is a definite prevailing darkness to the characters which I feel draws one into the book. Christian Grey, the enigmatic, multi cajillionaire and profoundly fucked up male protagonist. We know there is a dark monster lurking somewhere within. Like being in dark cave, no light to speak of, only your hands and the cave walls to find you way and the strange slithery sounds you hear in the darkness. You know it's there, yet it terrifies you to look to closely.
Then there is the lovely Anastasia Steele. The carefree and fun loving female protagonist. A bubbly and buoyant, take-no-shit-from-anyone personality who you cannot help but fall for and admire.
Christian and Anastasia meet when she literally falls for him, lol. She stumbles into his office practically landing on her face. Though it was Ana who literally fell, it was Christian who took the proverbial fall....Like Lucifer being cast from the heavens. The book does a great job in giving the reader, or perhaps voyeur, ever so brief glimpses into the man.....like the monsters who linger in the dark of a really good horror movie. A flash here, a glint there, a scream, a slither, a thud.
Christian, a Dom (Dominant IE: Sexual Dominant) has qualities that while reading, rouse my own dark monster, which is now slithering around my head, looking for its own way out. I have much in common with this character. He is controlling, bossy, short and direct to the point of being cold and detached. He is by all means, direct. He says what he means and means what he says. When he spouts a directive, he expects it followed without question. An attitude often looked up as powerful in a business situation, but in a relationship? Oddly enough, I understand him. Christian has constructed his environment deliberately. He is, as the book says, "an island". In his carefully constructed world he can move around, safely and securely. He is at the top of his food chain...or so he appears.
Anastasia, or Icarus as she often refers to herself. Ana comes from a fairly well adjusted not to screwed up childhood. She is loved, cared for, has close friends. She is not involved in the D/s culture, though Christian would like her to be. While reading this I am reminded, you cannot make someone something they aren't. But Ana, like most women, wants to please Christian, so she tries. Again I am reminded of my own past, trying to make someone happy at the expense of myself. If Ana were in front of me I would shake her by her shoulders and scream RUN!!!.......and by the grace of the Gods don't look back. You somehow know when you meet that one person, the chemistry and electricity between the two of you is so unbelievably powerful that it can in fact be your ultimate downfall....destroy you utterly.
Christian seems young.....mid twenties? But his persona is much older. Is he 25 or 35? It's a little confusing to me timeline wise because we know Ana is roughly early/mid 20's. I am confused because Christian was taken into submissive servitude at the very young age of 15 by what appears to be a much older Domme. I believe the book said he was in servitude to her for six years, which means he came out of it at approximately 21. But he tells Ana when she asks him it was "years ago". If he's mid 20's then "years ago" this does not make. Now the fact that it involves and underage boy does give me the heebs a bit. Do I justify it by saying 15 year old boys are different that 15 year old girls? I dunno. I have no way to rationalize it other than to say at 15 I know what and who I was doing. Right or wrong.
The whole while I am reading this book I am thinking this is a dangerous relationship. Ana called Christian the "ultimate consumer". While I think she meant his penchant for purchasing, it has a dual meaning to it because I see him consuming her. She has entered his carefully constructed world and literally up ended it and the man and like a drowning man grasping as a rescuer, will he inadvertently drown her in the process?
It has cross elements of Twilight.......Christian tells Ana he is no good for her, AKA Edward the dick dumping Bella in the woods. I hated that prick for doing it. Still pisses me off. Too busy thinking about himself to see to the needs of another. It also has tones of 9 1/2 Weeks...The very cryptic John meets the very carefree Elizabeth.....and tries to turn her into something she isn't. The scene where he tries to make her crawl across the floor to him, while throwing money at her still boils my blood. Had it been be me I would have stood, laughed in his face, given him the finger and big fat fuck you and walked out the door. But then again, I am not a sub. I don't think. Anyway.......
The tone of the story is Christian wanting Ana to change so she fits in the box he has so carefully constructed. It's all about him.....The gift of the computer is so she can research HIS world. The blackberry is so HE can get ahold of her. The car is so HE can control her world. Sure he says it's for her safety, which I do understand, but c'mon, I didn't fall off the turnip truck yesterday. He is a wealthy cajillionaire and she is a college student. An enticement into his world. To her credit, Ana does fight him all the way. She retains her sense of self, even as she feels herself getting lost in him. And in a world where Christian holds all the strings......she will very well be Icarus flying too close to the sun.
The book does have it's lighter moments as well. Ana's inner Goddess is annoying and hilarious. The proverbial angel on the shoulder. But is she devil or angel? Maybe a bit of both, lol. The emails Anastasia and Christian exchange are priceless breath of fresh air. They are fun, formal, flirty, sexy.....a joy to actually read and a perfect break in the story's intense plot. E.L. James did a great job creating these. It gives the reader what I feel is a true glimpse into the soul's of each character. The lightheartedness and playfulness is almost childlike and each characters need for the other to love them is clearly evident. It's an easier way for them to communicate with out the constant buzz of intense chemistry between them. Here they can truly be open and honest with each other.
But my own darkness has a need for something disturbing, as with the Story of O. There was no happy ending for her as O asked her Master for permission to commit suicide (in an alternate ending) and permission was in fact granted. Where will Fifty Shades lead? I have only started the second book, but there in one thing I have to say about it. I haven't stopped reading since I started, with the exception of writing this. Will Christian and Ana have an HEA? A part of me is hoping they do.......
But disturbingly my dark side hopes they completely and totally annihilate each other.
I haven't put the story down. I haven't cleaned, I haven't done laundry and I haven't really left my house. My trash is still sitting on the porch, waiting to go to the can. I did shower, I did brush my teeth and I did eat.
I'd say that's a pretty fucking good book. Wouldn't you?