Fifty Shades Darker, E.L. James

In this installment we essentially begin with Christian topping...from the bottom.  A deeply disturbed young man, immensely successful, intelligent, handsome and manipulative.  He is essentially, as Dr. Flynn puts it......."an adolescent".  I agree with the assessment.

With Christians petulant behavior, it appears as though he will stop at nothing to get what he wants.  Which would explain why his is as successful as he is.  But the story is out of balance..  We find Christian making amazing life altering changes, while his Ana makes surprising few.  I wasn't convinced that Christian was as much "healing" as he was just trying to win his end game.

Ana on the other hand has begun to depersonalize Christian in this installment, constantly referring to him as "Fifty".  Some could argue that this is a term of endearment, but to me it's like complimenting someone about how good they look for their age.  Ana's insecurity in herself frankly made me want to bash my skull in against a brick wall.  I can understand insecurity, we all have them, but for Christ's sake it made me wonder who was more "Fifty shades of fucked up"....her or Christian?

The nearly plot constant arguing between the two characters, Christian and Ana nearly drove me insane.  I don't even have this kind of drama in my real life!  To read about it....??  I found it exhausting.  Had I been dating either one of them, I would have kicked them to the curb and told them to chill the fuck out and stop creating all this damn drama!

I am amazed at how inappropriately people seem to act around Christian.  A shrewd businessman, very direct with his personal staff, yet his so called "friends" in the book, namely Elena, act amazingly out of bounds and he does nothing? Jose is drunk and makes a pass at Ana in book one, and Christian is ready to flog the man.   Again I understand Elena is a trusted friend, so to speak, but not even me and my friends act like that around each other.  I'm also fascinated at the dynamic that Christian feels he CAN have friends, but Ana cannot.  Because Christian is that insecure....juvenile.....controlling......manipulative.

And then there is the poor, very messed up and sad Leila.  I did like the way Ana was handling that scene.  I would have actually liked to have seen that go further.  Enter intervention with Christian.  As Leila's former Dom, it is his responsibility to care for her.  A good Dom does not neglect a sub, or if said Dom sees another sub in distress it is their responsibility to come to aid.  A sub is NOT to fall to neglect.  Period.  I felt that this whole part of the story is what opened everything up.  Christian and Leila's "relationship" has very distinct and clear cut boundaries and each knew how to act within those parameters.  Outside of those boundaries, I almost feel as though Christian is faring better than Ana.

I have been doing a little re-reading on this book series and it's base of origins.  I keep hearing that this is supposed to be "all the rage" on the east coast and with the soccer moms....not to mention the BDSM tone of the books.  Frankly, I'm trying to figure out what the hell these people are reading if this gets them fired up.  As I said in an earlier synopsis, this is pretty tame reading actually.  The author obviously fumbles her way through the BDSM portion and the sex scenes are marginal as I felt as though the author was holding back.  I have read other authors, namely Joey W. Hill and Maya Banks who also write similar stories.  Their books are no holds barred and farrrrrr more racy than this.  Anne Rice's Beauty series also leaves this in the dust.  Or maybe I am just hardcore lol.  This is more like beginner BDSM to me.
Joey W. Hill's Knights of the Boardroom Series?  Now that will leave you with a pair of wet panties.

Despite my.........negativity, I do like the books.  Sort of.  The characters are frustratingly endearing, even though you want to hit them lol.  As I said in my first synopsis, I was kinda hoping the main characters would annihilate each other.  In a way, I hope they still do.  I really get tired of everyone getting a "happily ever after".  Just once, I want the book to end fucked up.  I want to be disturbed.  When I finish a book, I want to sit on my sofa with my mouth hanging open, saying "damn".  I want the book to haunt me.  I'm not sure that is going to happen with this series.  I'm starting to like the characters, lol.  But you neeeeeever know.  And I can always hope lol.  Cuz, I'm twisted like that lol.

Fifty Shades of Grey, by E.L. James

It's raining today, which for some reason I find apropos as I sit mulling over this book.  Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James.  I must first preface this by saying, I did not know of this book until a day or so ago.  Since then I have read a few reviews for it and tried to bring myself to knowledge of it, as well as it's rank on the NY Times Best Seller List.  While this book does have BDSM undertones, more appropriately Domination and submission (D/s) it is tactfully done and by far tame by my standards.  I am by far more drawn to what I consider to be the calignosity that surrounds it.

At the start of reading this book I almost immediately get the same disturbing  undercurrent as I did when I began reading The Story of O.  There is a definite prevailing darkness to the characters which I feel draws one into the book.  Christian Grey, the enigmatic, multi cajillionaire and profoundly fucked up male protagonist.  We know there is a dark monster lurking somewhere within.  Like being in  dark cave, no light to speak of, only your hands and the cave walls to find you way and the strange slithery sounds you hear in the darkness.  You know it's there, yet it terrifies you to look to closely.

Then there is the lovely Anastasia Steele.  The carefree and fun loving female protagonist.  A bubbly and buoyant, take-no-shit-from-anyone personality who you cannot help but fall for and admire.

Christian and Anastasia meet when she literally falls for him, lol.  She stumbles into his office practically landing on her face.  Though it was Ana who literally fell, it was Christian who took the proverbial fall....Like Lucifer being cast from the heavens.  The book does a great job in giving the reader, or perhaps voyeur, ever so brief glimpses into the man.....like the monsters who linger in the dark of a really good horror movie.  A flash here, a glint there, a scream, a slither, a thud.

Christian, a Dom (Dominant IE: Sexual Dominant) has qualities that while reading, rouse my own dark monster, which is now slithering around my head, looking for its own way out.  I have much in common with this character.  He is controlling, bossy, short and direct to the point of being cold and detached.  He is by all means, direct.  He says what he means and means what he says.  When he spouts a directive, he expects it followed without question.  An attitude often looked up as powerful in a business situation, but in a relationship?  Oddly enough, I understand him.  Christian has constructed his environment deliberately.  He is, as the book says, "an island".  In his carefully constructed world he can move around, safely and securely.  He is at the top of his food chain...or so he appears.

Anastasia, or Icarus as she often refers to herself.  Ana comes from a fairly well adjusted not to screwed up childhood.  She is loved, cared for, has close friends.  She is not involved in the D/s culture, though Christian would like her to be.  While reading this I am reminded, you cannot make someone something they aren't.  But Ana, like most women, wants to please Christian, so she tries.  Again I am reminded of my own past, trying to make someone happy at the expense of myself.  If Ana were in front of me I would shake her by her shoulders and scream RUN!!!.......and by the grace of the Gods don't look back.  You somehow know when you meet that one person, the chemistry and electricity between the two of you is so unbelievably powerful that it can in fact be your ultimate downfall....destroy you utterly.

Christian seems young.....mid twenties?  But his persona is much older.  Is he 25 or 35?  It's a little confusing to me timeline wise because we know Ana is roughly early/mid 20's.  I am confused because Christian was taken into submissive servitude at the very young age of 15 by what appears to be a much older Domme.  I believe the book said he was in servitude to her for six years, which means he came out of it at approximately 21.  But he tells Ana when she asks him it was "years ago".  If he's mid 20's then "years ago" this does not make.  Now the fact that it involves and underage boy does give me the heebs a bit.  Do I justify it by saying 15 year old boys are different that 15 year old girls?  I dunno.  I have no way to rationalize it other than to say at 15 I know what and who I was doing.  Right or wrong.

The whole while I am reading this book I am thinking this is a dangerous relationship.  Ana called Christian the "ultimate consumer".  While I think she meant his penchant for purchasing, it has a dual meaning to it because I see him consuming her.  She has entered his carefully constructed world and literally up ended it and the man and like a drowning man grasping as a rescuer, will he inadvertently drown her in the process?

It has cross elements of Twilight.......Christian tells Ana he is no good for her, AKA Edward the dick dumping Bella in the woods.  I hated that prick for doing it.  Still pisses me off.  Too busy thinking about himself to see to the needs of another.  It also has tones of 9 1/2 Weeks...The very cryptic John meets the very carefree Elizabeth.....and tries to turn her into something she isn't.  The scene where he tries to make her crawl across the floor to him, while throwing money at her still boils my blood.  Had it been be me I would have stood, laughed in his face, given him the finger and big fat fuck you and walked out the door.  But then again, I am not a sub.  I don't think.  Anyway.......

The tone of the story is Christian wanting Ana to change so she fits in the box he has so carefully constructed.  It's all about him.....The gift of the computer is so she can research HIS world.  The blackberry is so HE can get ahold of her.  The car is so HE can control her world.  Sure he says it's for her safety, which I do understand, but c'mon, I didn't fall off the turnip truck yesterday.  He is a wealthy cajillionaire and she is a college student.  An enticement into his world.  To her credit, Ana does fight him all the way.  She retains her sense of self, even as she feels herself getting lost in him.  And in a world where Christian holds all the strings......she will very well be Icarus flying too close to the sun.

The book does have it's lighter moments as well.  Ana's inner Goddess is annoying and hilarious.  The proverbial angel on the shoulder.  But is she devil or angel?  Maybe a bit of both, lol.  The emails Anastasia and Christian exchange are priceless breath of fresh air.  They are fun, formal, flirty, sexy.....a joy to actually read and a perfect break in the story's intense plot.  E.L. James did a great job creating these.  It gives the reader what I feel is a true glimpse into the soul's of each character.  The lightheartedness and playfulness is almost childlike and each characters need for the other to love them is clearly evident.  It's an easier way for them to communicate with out the constant buzz of intense chemistry between them.  Here they can truly be open and honest with each other.

But my own darkness has a need for something disturbing, as with the Story of O.  There was no happy ending for her as O asked her Master for permission to commit suicide (in an alternate ending) and permission was in fact granted.  Where will Fifty Shades lead?  I have only started the second book, but there in one thing I have to say about it.  I haven't stopped reading since I started, with the exception of writing this.  Will Christian and Ana have an HEA?  A part of me is hoping they do.......

But disturbingly my dark side hopes they completely and totally annihilate each other.

I haven't put the story down.  I haven't cleaned, I haven't done laundry and I haven't really left my house.  My trash is still sitting on the porch, waiting to go to the can.  I did shower, I did brush my teeth and I did eat.

I'd say that's a pretty fucking good book.  Wouldn't you?

Twilight Saga: Eclipse

It's time for my review of Eclipse. Yes, this blog actually started off as a Twilight blog. And then I came to my senses and realized there is indeed life AFTER Twilight.



David Slade was the director for this version of the saga. Now I've always had a few questions regarding the directors, each accomplished in his own right. KEYWORD: HIS. And this is what I think the major problems with the additional sequels begin.

The Twilight Story is told from the point of view of a 17 year old girl experiencing her first love. Albeit he's a vampire, but he shouldn't be overlooked in my opinion just because he imbibes on the cells a bit. Everyone has "flaws" if this can be considered one.

My primary question being, how does a grown man tell a love story from the point of view of a 17 year old girl? The answer? He can't. He's never been a teenage girl in love before. That's what I feel made the first movie so successful. Catherine Hardwicke, who directed the first movie HAD the experience of being that 17 year old girl, and all the intense feelings and emotions that go with it. As well as the know how to put all of those feelings and emotions into the movie.

New Moon? Well lets face it, NM sucked. I tried to like it, but I just couldn't get there. There were aspects of it I did like.....like the visualization of Edward, and how they handled the wolves. I just couldn't get over the really bad makeup, esp on Rosalie, hated Alice and Jaspers hair, and Laurent? C'mon, what's with trying to white a brutha up? All you're gonna do is make him look ashy. Hardwicke had the good sense to leave Laurent alone thank God, and because of that, his character was believable. I thought the music was off for this movie too. It just didn't quite fit to me like the first movies music did.

Eclipse? I have to admit, David Slade had me worried. When I found out he was directing I worried for my beloved vamp family. Afterall, DS did 30 Days of Night. Great pizza movie on a Saturday night, but overall? Meh. I was concerned I was looking at another piece of crap like that. I liked the character of Riley and I liked the little gal who played Bree. She did so well she really made wish she lived on with the Cullens. Things I hate: Did NOT like the new Victoria. She didn't seem to me to bring the same maturity to the character. She seemed too juvenile. And definitely not enough attitude in my book. The old Victoria had a slick coolness about her that this new one didn't have. But I am also a Twilight purist-I don't think she should have been replaced in the first place. And since when did Victoria wear shoes? I did like the overall action, and thought DS handled things quite well, staying close to the book. The campfire scene, the wolves, the newborns, EMMETT IN BLUE JEANS AND A BLACK SHIRT (Oh MY!) I thought he did very well with. The fake moutain and storm? Not so much. Looks like they transferred in and exploded store Christmas display. And Dakota Fanning's "Jane" seemed a we bit fakey to me. Yes she is supposed to have the appearance of youth and innocence, but she is also a stone cold killer and I felt her first monologue were a bit contrived. I still love ya though DF!! I did get a little bit tired of the pissing contest between Edward and Jacob, but I got tired of it in the book too. But it's a book for young readers and I am 43....so taking that into consideration I cut it some slack. I didn't go to the theatre to see this one. I did for NM on opening day and wondered what the hell I spent the money for. So I waited for it on cable. And that's another thing. I think cable edited it. Why do I say that? Eh, a friend of mine had a disk (DADT) and I watched it right after the movie came out, and it seems there are pieces missing. Of course I'm still waiting for good old snail mail to deliver my DVD copy of Eclipse, which should be here in a day or two. I'll have to watch it a few times to see if I'm right about that one. Wishing I still had that other damn disk for comparison.....

At any rate, despite my opinions, if you are a fan of the Saga, I would see this movie. I wouldn't have gone to a night showing to do the coke and popcorn and jujubee's route....tooo expensive a night for a weee better than mediocre movie. So rent it on cable for $5. Or buy a used copy of it on eBay.

I'm still a Twilight purist...The first movie, is still the best movie.

Happy Holly-daze!!!!

So, it's been a while since I have been on here. Spent the last year reading books. All kinds of books. Tons of books. This had originally started out as a Twilight Blog, but as I said in and earlier post, there is only so much Twilight out there.....and there are some folks who already have some awesome Twi-sites.....I don't really need to jump on that bandwagon. OH I will still talk about it of course.....I did rent Eclipse on PPV for two days afterall. Mostly for the fight scene where we get to see a very hot and sexy Emmett in blue jeans and black. Now that's what I'm talking about. But I really do want to include sooooo much more. Kind of like Amy Sedaris' book, I Like You.

This would be my first recommendation. I consider this to be the girls guide to life. She has included EVERYTHING in here and I do mean everything. And all with a brilliant sense of humor. Recipes, clothing, hair and makeup tips lol....all of it. I loved this book so much I actually bought two copies, one for home and one for work. So bear with me here. I might be starting out kinda boring with a side of "what the hell would really make me wanna read you anyway?" But it will get better, lol. I promise.

After 4th of July counter.........

Whew, made it through the 4th. I swear it sounded like a war zone in my neighborhood!! But what a blast we had. Awesome food, awesome company, tons of fireworks! In fact we started BEFORE the neighbors and finished AFTER the neighbors.

At any rate, I had to counter my last post, and I think I have it handled. That pic of Rob, who I admire dearly just isn't working for me by any means. Don't get me wrong baby boy, but I feel a bit pervy about it. On top of that I am soo out of twi-touch it's not even funny. I think I'm having a twilight midlife crisis. Easily distracted.....I'd go buy a new sports car if I didn't already own one. I still love my twilight....but I think I am just fickle...I can't have just one. I must have many lol. I suppose that makes me a bit of a twi-tart, but I'll get over it lol. I guess I can just say this, don't hate the player, hate the game. I love beautiful men.
And this one, is certainly beautiful.

New Moon....Stickman style

I just saw this today and loved it. So, I wanted to do my part promoting the creators of this fine preview while sharing it with you.



(all credits go to those at stickman theatre)

Please click on the pix to go to the original Stickman Theatre site. I think this is my new fav place :)

Lol yea yea I know, I KNOW!

I am so aware that I have dropped the ball. It's the Brotherhood. They have me wrapped around their........lol little fingers lol.

Worse yet, Edward caught me. OMG the look he shot me could have been Daggers. Brotherhood Daggers to be exact.
"I can't believe you are reading this crap"


But it doesn't mean I love him any less. It just means I am an insatiable tart and I need more than just him lol.

I can live with that.

And I have to admit, because of the Brothers I have met some really wonderful people and we all share Twilight in common. We are all totally TwiHexed. And Tohrmented. And in my case, EnRhaged! lol.

Edward shouldn't be so upset though. I did take him out for his birthday.


The infamous kegstand.......


Having some BBQ and my bro making fun of him....

Opps........Got his buzz on......


and I think he was pissed at me about the BDB because he starting trying to mack on a juice bottle.

I was obvioiusly the desginate driver.